she couldn't help but sing...

i was listening to a song this morning (it's the first song here) and all i wanted as i listened was to be dancing in a field with these boys:


and as i let the words sink in, it began to remind me more and more of this post--which whether he knows it or not, continues to bring me back to where i want to be with each re-read.

as much as i think that i am trying to surrender [ideas, wants, fears, etc], or that i even know what that looks like, i just plain don't. i need constant daily reminders to stop flapping my wings so hard, to stop struggling to the shore and to just let go and be.

i think these lines will be my new mantra:

come tortoise, standing still
go hummingbird, my will
come tortoise, stumbling blind
go hummingbird, my eyes
come tortoise, empty hand
go hummingbird, my plan
come tortoise, undefined
go hummingbird, my mind
come tortoise, letting go
go hummingbird, i know
come tortoise, come and die
go hummingbird, my I
goodbye, I
goodbye, I
bye, bye, bye

there's a line earlier in the song that says: "there's a movement in our stillness." i love that.

because really, surrender is the greatest gift i can give myself right now. there is movement in it.

{ i'm ready for the rest of my holiday at sea }